Why now is the time for family visits

Visiting families in their homes can strengthen the effectiveness of your ministry of pastorally caring for others during this time of COVID-19.

‘I think this is some of the most effective ministry I’ve ever done. I’ve realised that in the planning and programming of kids ministry, I can often overlook and underestimate the value and importance of simply meeting with my flock, in their paddock.’ – Mel

These are the reflections of a children’s minister who has started making family visits a regular part of her week. Visiting families in their homes isn’t typically on the role description for children’s ministry leaders but more and more leaders are discovering why now is a great time to prioritise relationships, often with unexpected benefits.

Mel Bell from St Andrew’s, Roseville began visiting families as a way to reconnect after the COVID lockdown.

‘At the time, we were allowed to have visitors again but not gather in numbers, so I thought what better way to re-engage with families than spend some time with them at home!’

The experience has been even more fruitful than expected. Mel shares,

‘I’ve been able to see where and how families live, who is in their picture frames, what their favourite family dinner is… Kids have shown me their rock collections and Peppa Pig toys, the garden they planted with dad in lockdown, the Bible they read every night and the ‘Jesus craft’ they have mounted proudly on their fridge. I’ve decorated cupcakes for afternoon tea, walked dogs, helped write school speeches and played board games. I’ve had dance parties in lounge rooms and cried with parents who are doing it tough. It’s has been some of the richest discipleship I’ve done, pre and post COVID.’

Mel is planning to continue making family visits a regular part of her ministry. She’s sharing the good news stories with her team of leaders and hoping to inspire them to try family visits as it becomes a more familiar part of the wider church culture.

Robyn from St Hilda’s Katoomba is similarly convinced of the value of family visits and can vouch for the long-term value as she has been doing it for years. Robyn has been visiting families following the holiday kids program that the church runs every July. While initial visits were to drop off photos from the holiday program, Robyn has been invariably invited in.

‘It’s amazing how God so often brings you to the door just when you’re needed.’

Whether they are new to the church community, semi-regular or long established members of the church, Robyn says parents often express how much they value that she has taken the time to visit.

‘It demonstrates specific interest and willingness to help. Sometimes it’s only a brief conversation through the screen door, and other times I’ll be there for much longer. I’ve learned not to drink any tea or coffee before I begin a day of visits because I’ll get offered plenty!’

It’s also opened all kinds of doors for ongoing care and evangelism for Robyn. She shares one story of being invited to join a group of mums for a night out. She was introduced with the comment, ‘Make sure she tells you all about the church. You need to know this.’ Imagine getting that introduction!

It can be daunting to consider starting family visits when it has never been done before. There are probably already several reasons you can think of why it would be hard to try this in your church but it’s ok to start small and simple.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Robyn suggests to take your cues from the family. Some families are used to having visitors, others may not be. Sometimes they have time and other times they might not.

Robyn Says,

‘Sometimes you pray with the family there and then, other times you may not, but either way they know you care.’

The fact you showed up shows you care. It doesn’t matter if you stay for ten minutes or fifty.

You may also want to think about what kind of visits would work for the families you care for. Do you need to book ahead like Mel does? Or do some random drop ins on Saturday or Sunday afternoon?

2. Have a few questions prepared in advance. If you feel awkward about visiting and you are anticipating that parents will feel similarly awkward (they probably won’t), then having some set questions to fall back on can help.

a) How has your family found the last few months?

b) We’ve been providing [insert whatever your church has been providing for kids], has that been helpful for your family?

c) What can I pray for you? (if you pick just one question, choose this one)

d) Are there ways I can support you as you raise your kids to know and love Jesus?

But let the conversation go where it will. It’s not about getting answers to these or any other questions or having a specific agenda.

3. Mel recommends keeping a record of your visit. While it may feel at the time like you could never forget, it’s safer to make a few notes to refresh your memory as you pray for them and for future reference. Keeping a record also helps you keep track of who you’ve visited and who you still need to try to connect with.

This year has been all about finding new ways to do the same things we’ve always done; share God’s word, pray, and disciple each other. Whether you are back doing services in person or still online, now is a great time for family visits. Now more than ever, we need to find effective ways to support parents in raising their children to know and love Jesus. Making time to listen to parents and children takes some of the guesswork out of that.

Family visits can make a difference straight away. They provide concrete evidence that you care about each family. Making family visits part of your ongoing ministry will also make a difference over the long term. It becomes part of ‘the ways things are done around here’; a church community where leaders take the time to get to know parents and kids, pray with them, share life. That sounds like a great kind of ‘new normal’.

Here’s the final word from Mel,

‘Just start! Send a text, call a parent. Invite yourself over. Do it now, do it today. The more you do it, the more momentum you build and it’ll get easier and easier.