How to adapt your family ministry in the age of social distancing
How can we equip our families to do household discipleship while our parish ministries are closed?
I believe that children can have genuine, saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I believe that parents and guardians are the primary spiritual influence on their children.
I believe that God has established Christian households as the primary place of generational discipleship.
I believe that the church’s responsibility towards Christian families is to partner with parents and guardians to help foster faith in their children.
This is the basic creed of a family ministry philosophy and one that many of the senior ministers, children’s ministers and families that I talk to say that they believe.
However, while there is often a conviction of the truths of these statements, it is common for our ministry practices to contradict these beliefs. Most churches I know spend the majority of their strategy, preparation and face-to-face children’s ministry time in reference to their programmed events.
It is good and right to have excellent, church-based children’s ministry. However, for those who believe in the priority of the Christian home in the discipleship of children and teenagers, we must also be putting energy into what happens in the home. This also makes practical sense given the extreme imbalance of hours per year that a typical child will spend in the church versus in their home.
“We shouldn’t spend one hundred percent of our time and resources on the forty hours spent inside the church. As leaders, we [have] to learn to spend some of our energy leveraging the three thousand [hours per year that the typical child spends with their parents]… The church simply cannot compare with the amount of time that the family has… to influence the heart of a child.” - Reggie Joiner, Think Orange
Right now, churches in Sydney and around the world are facing the reality that we will be shutting our doors to programmed ministry for the foreseeable future.
Let’s not waste the new opportunities the forced postponement of church gatherings and programmed ministries creates for those who believe in the foundations of family ministry. It’s time to put our money where our mouth is! Without the availability of Sunday school, kids clubs and youth groups, now is perhaps the best opportunity you have had to give your time, energy and attention to equipping families in discipling their children in the home.
So how can we equip our families to do household discipleship while our parish ministries are closed?
I’ve got three simple principles, with a couple of possible applications for your ministry.
1. Be Available
One of the worries that many are facing is the forced isolation from family, friends and community. The children in your church will most likely be anxious and upset that they are unable to gather together at church. While distressing, this is a sign of a good reality; the children love your church, they love you and your leadership team, and they love meeting together around God’s Word (as well as the games and eating biscuits for morning tea. Not necessarily in that order).
One thing you can do to help children is to make yourself available to them during this time. Proactively call families and talk with the parents and the children (making sure that you are accountable in your use of technology and following Safe Ministry guidelines). If possible, do this over video so that you can still interact face to face. If you have a large children’s ministry, split this responsibility between other key leaders that have meaningful relationships with each child.
Related
Kids Pray Family Resource
Help families focus on our sovereign God with these prayer cards, specifically designed for young believers
This call doesn’t have to be long. Ask a couple of simple questions about how they are going and what they are doing to keep occupied at home. Then ask what you can pray for them as individuals and a family. Finally, pray for them during the call. This contact is valuable in maintaining relationships during this season and will be valued by the families and children you talk to.
2. Curate Resources
Most parents and guardians I know want to disciple their own children. But many simply don’t know where to begin. This will be especially true if they were not modelled family discipleship by their own parents.
One very practical thing you can be doing during this time is curating a list of resources that families can be using at home to continue forming faith by growing their children’s knowledge, love and obedience to King Jesus.
We live in a time where there is an overabundance of good resources for children to grow in their faith. I’ve listed a few of my personal favourites here. However, continue to explore the internet and curate resources that suit the children and families in your context.
Children’s Bibles: For families with young children the Jesus Storybook Bible or The Gospel Story Bible are great ones to read with children. For children who are ready for a full text (Year 3 and up) the NIrV is one very good and accessible translation.
Videos: Phil Vischer’s What’s In The Bible? DVD series is excellent. There are also many good free YouTube channels with wonderful content for children. The Saddleback Kids or Crossroads Kids Club channels are a great place to start.
Music: Like videos, there is a plethora of Christian music available for children and families. You may choose to purchase songs on iTunes or CD (do kids even know what that shiny disc is for?!). However, there are also many great Christian artists on streaming services such as Spotify. If you haven’t already created a Spotify playlist of songs you commonly sing at church, this can be a good place to start.
Podcasts: The idea of having Christian podcasts designed, not just for children, but for families is still a relatively new but growing concept. The best ones in terms of Family Ministry are those that enable the whole family to sit down together for learning, Bible reading and prayer. My own kids and I have just started to listen to a UK family show called Faith in Kids 4 Kids. A good friend of mine has also begun to experiment in this space with her own show called The Word on The Street, the early episodes of which sounds promising.
3. Create Opportunities to Serve
Finally, while this current pandemic has resulted in some people panic-buying and hoarding resources, we want to help our families continue to be outward-looking and serving where possible during this season.
Prayer: Provide lists of prayer points for the children and families in your church, perhaps with the list of other children who they would normally gather with but cannot at this time. Also encourage them to pray for those in your church and local community who are particularly vulnerable, either because of sickness or because of isolation and loneliness.
Visit: While restrictions have begun, you can still undertake small scale visitations to other’s homes while practicing social distancing. Help your families to think through who the people on your street are, or from your church, who could use some company during this season. (Of course, families must follow all the usual self-isolation procedures if anyone in their family is unwell.)
Create: Children and families may also enjoy making craft items, cards, or meals for others. Like visitations, take the opportunities still available to love someone else by dropping over some of these things, or other groceries and essentials. If the time comes for further isolation, families can be encouraged to send cards and craft items in the mail.
We do not yet know the full extent of this pandemic and how long we will have to cease meeting together. However, let us not mistake the mission and the method. As children’s ministers and church leaders, we are able to continue equipping families and helping the children in our churches grow in their knowledge, love and obedience to Christ even in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.
In fact, it may even be the strategic change of our priorities that better models our family ministry commitments.
