How to strengthen parental partnership in youth ministry
As churches return to physical gatherings, ensure you are partnering with parents to foster the faith of your youth.
We currently have a unique opportunity to examine and redesign our regular church and ministry programs. With churches preparing to return to physical gatherings, we have the chance to reflect on our approaches to ministry and to reinvent it, ensuring that our practice matches our theological principles.
For example, during isolation there has been a lot of talk amongst youth ministers about which online platforms are the best to use and what games will work for our groups in order to maintain our youth communities. However, we also need to invest in the primary community that God has established our young people in— their family.
God has given parents the primary role in discipling their children as followers of Jesus (Deut 6:1-25). Many of us believe this yet struggle to realise this truth in practice. As we make the most of this opportunity to rethink our approach to youth ministry, how we support, encourage and empower parents to disciple their youth should be at the top of this list.
But how do we do this well?
When I started out as a youth minister I laboured under the false assumption that to effectively minister to parents, I had to be the guru that shone forth godly wisdom upon parents as they fumbled around in the dark. Thankfully, I realised that this was beyond my capacity as a 20-year-old! But as a result of my misunderstanding, intentional ministry to parents took a back seat for way too long.
In reality, effective ministry to parents is not about knowing all the answers. It’s about building a sense of partnership and trust through communication and relationship.
Here are 2 things that you can do to work towards better supporting the parents of the youth in their church.
1. Establish good communication channels
Now is the time to re-examine how you communicate with the parents of your youth.
Ask, “Am I communicating with parents in a way that builds my relationship with them and affirms their trust in me?”
Relying on youth to communicate critical information to their parents is unwise. Instead, establish regular communication channels to communicate directly with parents. Emails and social media are a great place to start, but they do little to build relational trust. You’ll also need regular, genuine conversations with parents.
When churches meet again this can happen at drop-off and pick-up times, at church on Sunday, or even when you run into them at the shops. But in this time of social isolation, it means that you and your youth leaders are probably going to have to pick up the phone and give the parents a call.
Here’s just some of the things you could discuss:
Seek to connect with them about how they and their kids have coped with the changes and share about your own experience.
Tell them how you’ve been encouraged by their kid’s contribution at youth group and the things you’ve been talking to them about over the past little while.
Give them any relevant info about what your church is doing to keep connected.
Communicate to them about the safe ministry guidelines, how your church is seeking to uphold them and what this means for them as parents.
Ask how you can pray for them and perhaps even pray with them over the phone.
Genuine conversations go a long way in building relational credibility between parents and youth leaders. Use this season of ministry as an opportunity to establish healthy communication with parents that will continue long after we return to normal.
2. Empower parents to connect with their family around God’s word
Now is the time to resource families and help them worship God together.
Many Christian parents I know feel the responsibility to invest in their teenager’s spiritual wellbeing but are at a loss as to how to do this— especially when they are also trying to give them the space to develop their independence. On top of this, it feels like many resources often focus more on families with younger children than they do on those with teenagers. But teens are equally in need of connection with both their family and their creator.
Teenagers are probably spending more time in close physical contact with their families than they ever have before, so why not use it as an opportunity to help parents work out how to establish a regular time when they can connect around the word of God.
However, as Michael McGarry points out:
“calling parents to family discipleship only adds a burden around their neck, because they do not know how to carry out that calling. The church must not only call parents to family discipleship, but practically equip and empower them for the task.” [1]
Parents of teens need more than just a directive to read the bible with their kids. They’ll need help with resources and practical advice as to HOW to actually do it. Many of them will need encouragement to stick with it even when it’s hard. Who better to provide them with this than their local youth minister?
Ask, “What does this family need to make their family discipleship successful for the long term?” and seek to resource & support them as best you can.
If you don’t already have a list of helpful resources, it’s worth creating one that you can share with parents. Here are a few good ones to start you off:
The 555 Challenge from Youthworks
Youth Bible Studies from CEP
Books from CEP
Little Black Books by Scott Petty
Parent resources from Fuller Youth Institute
Right now, you have the unique opportunity to redesign your ministry approach to young people and their families. How will you make the most of this chance to invest in building relational trust with parents and supporting them as they seek to disciple their teenage children?
[1] McGarry, M 2019. A Biblical Theology of Youth Ministry. Randall House, US.